Complete you
by KellyHerondale
Summary: Insane teens trying to find a way to complete themselves and others.
1. Chapter 1

**I suppose this is going to be a sad story. A sad romantic story. =) I've read so many stories and they're all so cliché. This, I promise, is going to be different. **

**Clace. AU**

**Society Killed The Teenager (Search it up)**

Emptiness

Deep inside,

Somewhere

The

Feeling

Of

Nothing

Began

To

Grow.

All that's left

is

emptiness.

**Yes, I wrote this myself, but it kind of relates to how I feel 24/7. Don't worry, there's many poems that are to come and are written by me!**

* * *

><p>Jace<p>

Jace felt devoid of emotion. He often sat in his room staring at those white walls, wondering what he was going to do with life. Jace even wondered if he was ever going to finish school, falling in love, getting married, having children, or accomplish anything. Why was he always the one to disappoint everyone? Maybe, it was just meant to be. Maybe, he was meant to be meaningless.

He decided that he was a lost cause.

That's what he had told his parents, they had sent him to some sort of a special doctor.

The doctor had declared that Jace had a major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, specific phobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, schizoid personality disorder post-traumatic stress disorder, paranoid personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and delayed sleep phase disorder. Jace barely understood what anything meant, but it was official, he was a screw-up.

Dr. Albert was a skinny, tall and seemed to resemble a bit of a nerd.

"Jonathan, how are you?" Asked Dr. Albert.

"Alive," Jace answered curtly.

"Have you been getting mood swings lately?" He questioned.

He decided to be honest, "Yes."

Dr. Albert scribbled down a few words "Describe the emotions."

"Despair, anger, hatred, joy, then I started laughing hysterically and then I punched a wall." Jace stated bluntly.

The doctor nodded "Describe how you feel about yourself."

"Everything and nothing."

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes, I feel like fulfilled and then nothing."

"Jace, explain. Briefly describe how you feel about yourself, other than 'everything and nothing'."

"I think that I'm quite useless, a waste of space, actually."

"Really? You seem like a bright, young man."

Jace laughed bitterly "That's what they all say."

"Why are you here?"

"I told my parents that I was a lost cause."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know why, but I feel like I'm never going to be able to finish school, fall in love, get married, have children and that stuff."

"If this is still happening then next week, I will prescribe mood stabilizers for you."

"Okay. Thank you for your time. Bye." Jace said in an attempt to be polite.

He walked out the door, Jace was definitely not coping well. He just, really wanted to, jump out the window, or lay down in the middle of the road. Jace didn't know why, he couldn't do this. He couldn't do life. It's too hard.

Jace ended up in the library, he was apparently reading a book called 'Letting Ana Go'. Brilliant story. _Brilliant_ life the girl had. She died in the end, maybe Jace would die the same way the girl had. Maybe.

* * *

><p>Clary<p>

Clary was not handling her life very well. At least, that was why she ended up in the emergency room at 3 in the morning.

Apparently Clary had not locked her door when she was overdosing on pills. Life was just getting better and better, she was loving it _so _much. Her parents found her and immediately called the ambulance and had to get her stomach pumped.

The bad news? She was alive.

Now she was back home in her room, listening to Pierce The Veil's _King For A Day_. Though she truly enjoyed Suicide silence, Green Day and even Black Veil Brides.

_Dare me to jump off of this Jersey bridge?_  
><em>I bet you never had a Friday night like this<em>  
><em>Keep it up, keep it up, let's raise our hands<em>  
><em>I take a look up at the sky and I see red<em>  
><em>Red for the cancer, red for the wealthy<em>  
><em>Red for the drink that's mixed with suicide<em>  
><em>Everything red<em>

_Please, won't you push me for the last time_  
><em>Let's scream until there's nothing left<em>  
><em>So sick of playing, I don't want this anymore<em>  
><em>The thought of you's no fucking fun<em>  
><em>You want a martyr, I'll be one<em>  
><em>Because enough's enough, we're done<em>

_You told me think about it, well I did_  
><em>Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore<em>  
><em>I'm tired of begging for the things that I want<em>  
><em>I'm over sleeping like a dog on the floor<em>

_The thing I think I love_  
><em>Will surely bring me pain <em>  
><em>Intoxication, paranoia, and a lot of fame<em>  
><em>Three cheers for throwing up<em>  
><em>Pubescent drama queen<em>  
><em>You make me sick, I make it worse by drinking late<em>

_Scream until there's nothing left_  
><em>So sick of playing, I don't want to anymore<em>  
><em>The thought of you's no fucking fun<em>  
><em>You want a martyr I'll be one<em>  
><em>Because enough's enough, we're done<em>

This was probably one of Clary's favourite songs because it was so much like how she was. She laughed hysterically, her life was a complete joke, then tears were dripping down her face. Clary wanted to be gone from this world, it was awful, but, she just got released from the dreary hospital, and she didn't want to go back again.

What was she to do with this dreadful life? Oh, she had to go to some bloodly support group or so her parents called it.

* * *

><p><strong>When Jace said that he was laughing hysterically and then he punched a wall, it was what I did. I guess this story reflects on me.<strong>

**Major depressive disorder - Clinical depression, mood disorder. Basically people who have low self-esteem and has the urge to suicide.**

**Bipolar disorder - Crazy mood swings.**

**Specific phobia - Fear of an specific object.**

**Obsessive compulsive disorder - OCD. Perfectionist, obsessive, compulsive.**

**Schizoid personality disorder - Not wanting to be in social relationships, being a loner.**

**Post-traumatic stress disorder - A traumatic event, disturbing flashbacks.**

**Paranoid personality disorder - Highly mistrustful, hypersensitive, always on the lookout for threats or signs of danger.**

**Antisocial personality disorder - Disregard of others, AKA psychopathy, sociopathy.**

**Dependent personality disorder - Being clingy and needy.**

** Generalized anxiety disorder - Anxiety disorder, constant and uncontrollable worry about everything.**

**Delayed sleep phase disorder - Delayed sleeping...**

**Seasonal affective disorder - Being depressed because of the season.**

**Anorexia Nervosa - Fear of gaining weight, so the victim eats very little and excercises a lot.**

Teardrops

The tears I shed for you, my dear.

For so, I love you, do you hear?

I weep in pain,

for you have inflicted.

As you have lain,

your heart,

for,

others.


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't know why, but I always feel so empty. I'm a terrible person, I guess. This week was quite a _happy _week for me, I was so close to giving up. I really couldn't do this. I guess I was always a fuck-up. **

**Friends. What was the point of having friends if one harmless joke would cause them to go bat shit crazy, then she started the hate on me. I don't know why I'm feeling so hurt, I knew that something bad would happen to our friendship... I just don't understand how quickly I let her in. I've learnt some new things, don't trust others, looks are deceiving, humanity is cruel and I hate this life (Nah, I always did.)**

**Anyways, the second chapter! I've decided to add a few characters so Jace and Clary wouldn't be so lonely.**

**Also, I'm crying right now because according to my other 'friend', apparently I'm an attention-seeker.**

**P.S. Did not use spellcheck.**

* * *

><p><strong>Magnus<strong>

He was bisexual.

Magnus knew that fact since the day he looked at Will Herondale, he felt his pulse quicken, slightly and when he was admiring the sight of Camille Belcourt. That was when he realized.

Everything he had worked for, was all gone. Magnus was a disgrace to the world around him. So what if he like people of the same gender and the opposite, he was Magnus and he could do whatever he desired to do. What kind of world was he living in?

This was inequality, but no one cared.

Will Herondale was the last straw, he couldn't take it anymore. What he had did was too hurtful.

He knew he had to stop thinking about all this stuff, it was too depressing and his mood was starting to clash his new and beautifully fabulous neon green hair.

Magnus walked out the door of his apartment, out the elevator and the lobby door. It was nearly autumn and school was going to start in a few weeks, it was such a stressful topic. He sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Slowly, he walked onto the road and he laid down, maybe he would finally find peace. He couldn't find happiness anywhere, what was the point in this? What was the point of life? What wa-

* * *

><p>How Magnus survived, he did not know. What he did know was that he was probably cursed. He laid down on the road and his head was still whole.<p>

Damnit.

Somehow, he had managed to get scrapes, bruises and a broken arm and worst of all, he survived. When he was watching Orphan Black, that Elizabeth women walked onto the train rails and got hit by a train. She died.

Why was he alive? No idea.

A man walked wearing those ridiculous white long piece of cloth came in, with a curt nod he said "I'm Dr. Robert Lightwood."

Magnus smiled weakly, "Magnus Bane."

"So.. Um, you got ran over by a car you're still alive." Dr. Lightwood stated uneasily.

"I guess that's what happened." Muttered Magnus.

The doctor stared at Magnus incredulously, "What exactly happened?"

"I laid down on the road." He said.

That was all Dr. Lightwood needed to send Magnus to the damned support group.

* * *

><p><strong>Alec<strong>

He was crouched down, his arms around his knees, Alec was shaking. The worst part was that he didn't even know why he was so depressed.

He had locked himself up in his room and was currently having a panic attack while he was against the dark, black wall. Tears were dripping from his eyes and onto his already wet shirt. His breathing quickened and he started to breathe infrequently, then Alec realized that he couldn't breathe.

Why was he always alone?

What was the point?

Why didn't he just belong?

Why couldn't he be normal?

What was the meaning of this horrid life?

Why?

Why didn't anyone like him?

Was he that horrible of a person?

Was he that much of a loner?

Wouldn't anyone care?

Prehaps not.

They wouldn't care, he was a loner, but he wasn't that horrible of a person. Alec didn't do anything bad, all he did was paint his skin in red and mope around.

Alec could hear muffled shouting and footsteps that came closer and closer towards his room. "ALEXANDER GIDEON LIGHTWOOD! YOU COME OUT THIS INSTANT OR I SWEAR TO THE ANGEL, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE," Maryse yelled pounding on the door.

There was a reason Alec had locked himself in his room, he could stay away from the world. That and to starve to death, well, that wasn't exactly his plan. But, he locked himself and he hadn't touched water or food since exactly two days ago.

Alec was dehydrated and malnourished, he could be dying. Though, the thought of death somehow made him so happy.

So happy...

Maybe, he'd finally be free of all this pain and torture.

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_  
><em> Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface<em>  
><em> Don't know what you're expecting of me<em>  
><em> Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes<em>  
><em> Every step that I take is another mistake to you<em>

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there_  
><em> Become so tired, so much more aware<em>  
><em> I'm becoming this, all I want to do<em>  
><em> Is be more like me and be less like you<em>

_ Can't you see that you're smothering me,_  
><em> Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?<em>  
><em> 'Cause everything that you thought I would be<em>  
><em> Has fallen apart right in front of you.<em>  
><em> Every step that I take is another mistake to you.<em>  
><em> And every second I waste is more than I can take.<em>

_ I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,_  
><em> Become so tired, so much more aware<em>  
><em> I'm becoming this, all I want to do<em>  
><em> Is be more like me and be less like you.<em>

_ And I know_  
><em> I may end up failing too.<em>  
><em> But I know<em>  
><em> You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.<em>

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,_  
><em> Become so tired, so much more aware.<em>  
><em> I'm becoming this, all I want to do<em>  
><em> Is be more like me and be less like you.<em>

_ I've become so numb, I can't feel you there._  
><em> (I'm tired of being what you want me to be)<em>  
><em> I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.<em>  
><em> (I'm tired of being what you want me to be)<em>

* * *

><p><strong>I've been really down these days. I think I'm losing my creativity, it's either that or I've been freaking out all week. I blame the anxiety. I've made a new Twitter account, it's called koalaingkelly, all there is, is a variety of poems. I don't know why, but I feel like I'm never going to be able to live my life. I don't actually know what to do, I mean, I told a friend that I had depression and shit and he didn't care much. Friendships sucks. <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I've been getting lots of supportive reviews, and I just want to say thank you. I guess I'm not feeling very suicidal these days, which is good, but, I am getting more anxious everyday and angry. So, yeah.**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated!**

* * *

><p>Jace<p>

He couldn't help but stare, the sight in front of him was terrifying. She was bleeding all over, the girl was walking closer to Jace smiling, her teeth was gushing with blood and pus.

Jace couldn't run, he simply froze in fear.

_So this was what it felt like to not be able to move. Move!_

He couldn't.

_**Jace! Oh Jace! I missed you so much! Macey missed you so much! Macey wanted to play with you! Macey wants to play with you! With you! Jacey, aren't you going to play with me? Macey thinks you look so adorable! Why do you look so scared? Macey wants to play with Jace. Jace will play with Macey! Macey! You will play with Macey! Macey! Are you going to play with Macey?**_

Jace didn't know what to say, he shook his head frantically. Macey. He just couldn't 'play' with her, she was just to damn terrifying.

_Macey isn't real. Macey isn't real. Macey isn't real. Macey can't be real. Macey can't hurt me. Macey can't scare me. Macey can't be real. Macey isn't real. Macey is just part of my imagination. Macey isn't really there. Macey isn't there. Macey was never there. Macey wasn't there. Macey isn't real. Macey can't hurt me. Macey can't hurt me._

Why was Macey here? She shouldn't be here. She's just a figment of Jace's imagination, right? He was beginning to believe that Macey was actually there. Jace had to run, far away, to save himself. He just had to.

That was when Jace's head started to hurt, it felt like his head was going to explode.

_Pain. Red. Pain. Pain. Pain. Red. Red. Pain. Red. Pain. Pain. Black._

Darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey. <strong>

**I'm sorry I haven't been updating for quite awhile. Yes, I realize that this chapter took less than 5 minutes to read, yes, I know, it's also kind of retarded. Remember, Jace is a schizo.**

**These days, I've been feeling emotionally numb, then suddenly extremely sad. I either want to smash someone's face against a wall or cry during most times. I think there is something wrong with me.**

**I've been stressing quite a lot these days. Family issues, life, people, everything has been causing me grief. I'm always at the verge of suicide, it's just so hard to try and live life. I don't even think there is anything worth living for. **

**People just can't be trusted, they're backstabbing, bitches. Once you trust someone, you fully accept all their flaws and in the end, all they do is hurt you and cause others to dislike you. Well, this is how life works.**

**School. Education. What kind of crap are the even teaching us? We don't need to know about space and all that shit, we're most likely not going to become astronauts. We should be taught, what to say and do in certain situations and all that being a good person shit, how to be rich, fame, actual logic.**

**I haven't been very inspired or motivated enough to start writing, that is one reason why this update is so short, but I decided to make these chapters extremely short, but there will be long ANs and multiple chapters. I'm thinking about changing the rating to M because there may be a lot of blood in these oncoming chapters.**

**I don't think I can handle life. There is literally nothing left in this world that is worth living for, I've simply just given up. I can't do this. Sure, I'll try to live my life as much as I can. But, I wonder if anyone will actually miss me... No one really cares, all I'll end up being is to be called 'cold-blooded', 'evil' and all that other shit. I am not cold-blooded, I have sympathy, just a bit less than most people... I don't know why I even write stuff like this on updates. I guess it's kind of like a personal journal and it kind of feels like I'm taking the weight off my shoulders. This makes me feel slightly better.**

**I wonder how long it'll take for me to be happy again. I also wonder how much it'll take for me to just break down. **

**This week, was harsh. Nowadays, I'm wondering if I'm a so called 'bitch' or something... I don't know. It really hurts when you get insulted or ignored, it's even harder to not give up. **

**I'm starting to feel really stupid writing all this shit. Ugh.**

**Next chapter is about the Sadistically cold psychopathic Isabelle.**


End file.
